Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
