Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
either way he was missing a nipple.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
