i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
