You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
