Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I did not marry a roomba.
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