that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
