It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
