It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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