I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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