You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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