Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
