My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
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