bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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