The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
oh god the rape fog is back!
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
