Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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