Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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