Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
