He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
