i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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