watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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