did you get engaged???
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
My liver is preforming stress tests.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
