So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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