what day is it and did you see me today?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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