i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
