you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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