hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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