How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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