Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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