He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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