We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
do herpes really smell.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
