PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
he puts the penis in happiness.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
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drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
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Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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