I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
