I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
