when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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