we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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