i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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