He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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