in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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