I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
