are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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