We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
