I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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