I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
