Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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