Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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