Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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