Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
