Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
what the fuck happened to the tacos
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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