I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
