there was a trapeze. enough said
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
i think im in europe. pls send help
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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