So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
