After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
