Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize