So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
