We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
