Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He felt like a one man threesome
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
