I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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