But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Randomize
