oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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