Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
This couple is walking their pig around campus
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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