i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
