i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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