Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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