Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize