yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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