We're like a lot better than the average bears
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
