He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
