I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
