Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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