We won't sleep together?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
