:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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