he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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