yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize