I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
